Hey New Mama,
First, I want to tell you, you are not alone. When we first brought the boys home, I spent a lot of time wondering if what I was doing was normal/okay. I wondered if other new moms experienced the things I was experiencing. For example, is it normal that I can’t remember the last time I showered? Is it normal that this laundry has been in the chair in the living room for 2 weeks? Is it normal that I don’t know how long that dried spit up has been in my hair? The answer to all of those questions is yes. (If your answer was no to any of the above, you’re either 1. Not a new mama or 2. You are a super hero.) In thorough studies, I have found that those situations are in fact normal for those of us who have just brought new life into this world.
Everyone talks about how magical it is to become a mother and bring home a baby. You hear about all the baby snuggles and soft blankies. You hear about how full your heart will feel and how you’ve never loved something so much in your whole life. I also believe those things are true. However, I also believe that sometimes the magic doesn’t just overwhelm us like everyone suggests. It’s more like a smack across the face. So, I’m writing to you to let you know that it’s ok if it takes a while to find the magic. It’s ok if you’re gross on most days. And it’s ok if you haven’t folded that laundry (or even washed any). Find some small victories. Is your baby happy? Did he wrap his little finger around yours? Did he/she sleep longer than 30 minutes? Did you put on a clean pair of sweatpants today? Focus on those small victories every day.
I’m not going to tell you “it’ll get easier” not because it doesn’t, but because I found that sentiment unhelpful in the moment. I know people mean well when they say it. I know that it’s true; it won’t always be this hard. However, it doesn’t help NOW. So, find those small victories, mama. Accept help when it’s offered (I’m still learning that one). Say your prayers. Know that you are a super hero. Think about those who would LOVE to be a mama but cannot. And, finally, always choose a nap over a shower.
Also, it really does get easier.
As always, you are welcome to connect with me on Instagram at blwalker_528.